I visited my sister's church yesterday. Over lunch, her pastor asked me what my word for the year was. Kinda was a deer in headlights moment lol.

I honestly haven't gotten that far into the whole reflective-planning-the-year-out yet. January's been a bit of a blur of trying to stay afloat. If that’s you too, you’re in good company here.

But he wouldn’t let me off the hook with my shrug so I sat with it for a few minutes.

The words that came to mind were trust and faith. Trusting in God's providence for my career, and faith for whatever's coming next. Trust is foundational to everything else we believe. What we know about God shapes what we're able to believe about others and the world around us.

We don't talk enough about trusting when the path forward isn't clear, when everyone else seems to have their life figured out and you're just trying to figure out the day.

When I was preparing for this letter, I found a quote that just wrecked me. It was written by Dietrich Bonhoeffer — a German pastor who was imprisoned and eventually executed by the Nazis for his resistance to Hitler. From inside that cell, knowing he might never leave, he wrote this:

Not exactly motivational poster material, huh? But it's real. He felt more forsaken than ever before — and he found God there. In the abandonment. In the silence.

There's so much about this life we'll never understand. But yknow what’s giving me peace regardless? That we don't actually have to understand anything in order to trust. In fact, if the path was clear, you wouldn't need to trust Him at all.

God wants more than our logic. He wants our faith, even when — especially when — it doesn't all make sense.

There's this moment in Mark 9 that I keep coming back to. A father brings his suffering son to Jesus. The kid has been suffering since childhood, and this dad is desperate to save him. He's tried everything. And when he finally stands in front of Jesus, check out what he says:

This guy doesn't fake confidence or pretend he's got it all figured out. He's literally saying "I'm torn between trust and doubt, but I'm asking you to show up anyway." And guess what? Jesus did.

We don't need perfect faith to move God's heart. We just need honest faith. The kind of faith that shows up with questions and asks anyway. The kind of faith that admits it's struggling but chooses to trust God's character even when his presence feels absent.

God doesn't want your performance. He wants your heart.

Today we honored Dr. King and his legacy. He trusted God's vision for justice when the path forward looked impossible, when people told him to slow down, when the destination felt unreachable. His faith moved him from Montgomery to Memphis, one faithful step at a time.

Dr. King could have waited for a clearer path or for better timing or less opposition. But he took one faithful step. And then the next one. The civil rights movement wasn't built on clarity — it was built on faithful action.

So this week, instead of demanding a floodlight to show you the whole path, try asking God for a flashlight. Just to show you just the next step.

Maybe it's sending that awkward email or tithing even when it feels financially impossible or getting out of bed and trying again.

Pick one faithful action and see what God does with it.

this monday's practice: identify one small, faithful action you can take in the next 24 hours. something that requires a little trust but doesn't demand you have the whole plan figured out.

honest prayer: God, I've screwed up enough times to figure out I can't steer my life on my own. So today, I'm not asking for a floodlight. I'm asking for a flashlight. Give me the courage to take it, even if my hands are shaking. I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief. In Your Son’s name I pray, amen.